A family phone contract is a written agreement, one or two pages long, that the child and the parents sign before the phone is handed over, or whenever its use needs sorting out. It works better than a list of bans because it binds both sides, says in advance what happens when a rule is broken and has a review date. Below are three versions ready to download as PDF, with no sign-up, written by the CatWatchful team: ages 8 to 10, 11 to 12 and 13 to 15. Each clause carries a line explaining why it is there, so you can change it with judgment.
Most phone rules get said once, when the phone is handed over, and then argued about every week because nobody remembers exactly what was agreed. Writing them down fixes that, and fixes something less obvious: when the rules are on a signed sheet, the fight stops being with you and becomes a fight with the agreement. The three versions below follow the same age bands as this site’s guide to phone rules by age and lean on what the American Academy of Pediatrics, Common Sense Media and UNICEF recommend: commitments on both sides, supervision that is announced, and an agreement that loosens as your child shows judgment.
Pick the version for your child’s age. Each one has the child’s commitments, the parents’ commitments, the supervision clause, what happens when a rule is broken, and the signatures. Download it, change whatever does not fit your home, and sign it together.
Ages 8 to 10
Ages 8 to 10: the phone is a household object
At this age you set the phone up and it is used in plain sight. The rules are few, concrete and not up for debate; the most important one is where it spends the night.
The phone sleeps outside my room, charging in the place in the house we agreed on.
Why it is here: It is the rule that pays off most at any age, and it is far easier to keep from age 9 than to impose at 14.
I use the phone in the shared areas of the house, not shut in my bedroom.
Why it is here: What is used in plain sight does not need surveillance: being nearby is enough.
Mom or Dad install the apps. If I want a new one, I ask and we look at it together.
Why it is here: The supervised child account already allows this, and the decision gets talked about instead of discovered.
I do not have social media yet. It is not a punishment: the apps themselves require age 13.
Why it is here: The minimum is set by the platforms, not the parents; saying it that way avoids the argument.
If someone I do not know writes to me, I do not reply and I show it to Mom or Dad.
Why it is here: At this age they still do not know what to do with a stranger; the plan has to include you.
If I see something that scares me or makes me uncomfortable, I tell. Telling will never cost me the phone.
Why it is here: If telling is expensive, they do not tell, and you lose exactly what you need to know.
I do not send photos of myself or others without permission, and never photos without clothes.
Why it is here: It is one of the four rules that do not change with age.
At the table and at school the phone is put away.
Why it is here: Clear, few screen-free zones that apply to the adults too.
As a mother, father or guardian, I commit to:
I tell you clearly what I can see on your phone and what I cannot, and I will not look at it behind your back.
If you tell me about something you saw or that happened to you, I listen first and I do not punish you for telling.
When you ask for an app, we look at it together and I explain why yes or why no.
The phone-free zones apply to me too: at the table, mine is put away as well.
We review this agreement on the date written below, and every time we review it you will gain something.
What I will look at and what I will not
At this age I manage the accounts, so I can see which apps there are, how much they are used and where the phone is. If I use a parental-control app, such as Family Link or CatWatchful, I tell you which one it is and what it shows me. There is no secret surveillance in this house.
If a rule is broken
If a rule is broken, the consequence is known in advance, is proportionate and has an end date: for example, the phone stays put away until tomorrow. It is not taken away indefinitely, because that switches off the rule about telling without fear.
Reviewing the agreement
We review this agreement on ________________ (a birthday or the start of the school year) and each side gives something up.
Child’s signature
Signature of the mother, father or guardian
Date
Ages 11 to 12
Ages 11 to 12: the group chats arrive
For many families this is the age of the first phone of their own, and of the class group chats. The rules move from “I install it” to an agreed list, and the password is shared with a nuance: having it is not reading everything.
The phone still sleeps outside my room, in the place we agreed on.
Why it is here: It is still the rule that protects sleep most, and at this age it starts getting argued about: that is why it goes first.
Apps come from a list we build together: I ask, we look at it, and it gets installed or not.
Why it is here: Your child proposes and you decide with them; that is the autonomy of this age band.
No social media yet, because their own terms require age 13. We talk about it again when I turn 13.
Why it is here: The floor is set by the platforms, and in some countries it is higher; saying it that way takes the fight out of the house.
My parents have my password. Having it does not mean they read everything: they use it if there is a reason, and they tell me.
Why it is here: That is the nuance that changes in this band: access yes, routine reading no.
In the class group chats, if something makes me uncomfortable, I show it. Showing it is never punished.
Why it is here: The class group is where bullying and forwarded content show up; you need them to show you.
I do not forward other people’s photos, voice notes or screenshots without their permission, and never intimate photos, mine or anyone’s.
Why it is here: It is the rule that does not change between 8 and 15.
If someone I do not know writes to me or asks for photos, I do not reply, I do not delete, and I tell.
Why it is here: Not deleting keeps the evidence; telling brings in your help.
The phone does not come to the table or to school, unless the school asks for it for an activity.
Why it is here: Clear screen-free zones, the same for everyone.
Purchases inside apps and games are always asked for first.
Why it is here: Impulse purchases are the most expensive problem and the easiest to prevent.
As a mother, father or guardian, I commit to:
I tell you what I see and what I do not. If I ever use your password, I tell you that same day and I tell you why.
If you show me something from the group that made you uncomfortable, I do not pull you out of the group as a punishment, nor punish you for showing it.
When you ask me for an app, I give you an answer and a reason, not just a no.
I respect the same phone-free zones I ask of you.
Every time we review this agreement, you drop a rule if you showed judgment with the previous ones.
What I will look at and what I will not
I manage your account and I have your password. I can see which apps you have, how much you use them and where the phone is, and if I use a parental-control app, such as Family Link or CatWatchful, I tell you which one it is and what it shows me. I do not read your chats as a routine: only if there is a concrete reason, and I tell you.
If a rule is broken
If a rule is broken, the consequence is agreed in advance, is proportionate and has an end date. Breaking one rule does not erase the others, nor this agreement.
Reviewing the agreement
We review this agreement on ________________ and at each review each side gives something up.
Child’s signature
Signature of the mother, father or guardian
Date
Ages 13 to 15
Ages 13 to 15: supervision is announced, not hidden
Your child now reaches the minimum age of most social networks. The job shifts from banning to configuring, and supervision stops being done in silence: there is access, it is used for a reason, and if it is used, they know. By 16 or 17 almost no rules should be left.
The phone charges outside my room and screens go off at least an hour before bed.
Why it is here: It is the American Academy of Pediatrics recommendation and the rule that pays off most in adolescence.
My social accounts are private and we set up together who can message me and who sees what I post.
Why it is here: At this age the job is to configure, not to ban.
My parents have access to my phone. They use it only for a concrete reason and, if they use it, they tell me.
Why it is here: That is the deal of this band: declared access, justified use, no surprises.
If someone harasses me, threatens me or asks me for photos, I block, report, save a screenshot and tell.
Why it is here: The toolkit is theirs now; telling is still the last step, not the first one to be lost.
I do not share or forward intimate photos, mine or anyone’s, even if they are asked for or sent to me.
Why it is here: It is the rule that does not change with age, and at this age the pressure is real.
I do not post anything about other people without their permission, and I keep in mind that what I send can be forwarded and does not get deleted.
Why it is here: What is sent stops being theirs the moment it leaves.
The phone-free zones are the table, class time and bedtime, and they apply to the whole family.
Why it is here: Few, clear and for everyone.
If I go over the time we agreed, we sort it out between the two of us, not with a fight.
Why it is here: At this age, supported self-control pays off more than imposed restriction.
As a mother, father or guardian, I commit to:
I do not read your chats as a routine. If I go into your phone, I tell you when and why, that same day.
If I use a parental-control app, you know which one it is, what it shows me and what it does not. Nothing gets installed without you knowing.
If you tell me something serious, we deal with it through the school or whoever is appropriate, and I do not take the phone away for you having told me.
I keep the same phone-free zones I ask of you.
Every time you show judgment, you drop a rule. By 16 or 17 almost none should be left.
What I will look at and what I will not
I have access to your phone and I do not use it as a routine. I use it if there is a concrete reason, and if I use it I tell you. If there is a parental-control app in this house, such as Family Link or CatWatchful, you know which one it is and what it shows me: there is no supervision for you to discover by accident.
If a rule is broken
If a rule is broken, the consequence is agreed in advance, is proportionate and has an end date. It is never taking the phone away indefinitely, nor for having told me something.
Reviewing the agreement
We review this agreement on ________________ and at each review each side gives something up. When the reason for a rule disappears, we take it off the sheet.
Child’s signature
Signature of the mother, father or guardian
Date
Why a contract and not a list of bans
A list of rules binds one side only and gets argued about every week. A contract binds both: your child commits to where the phone charges and what to do with a stranger, and you commit to not looking behind their back, not punishing what they tell you and keeping the same screen-free zones. That second block is what makes it work, because a rule the adult does not keep collapses on its own. Common Sense Media recommends a family phone agreement and the American Academy of Pediatrics proposes a family media use plan that is reviewed as the child matures: the three versions above follow that logic, with fewer rules in each band and a review date on which each side gives something up.
How to use it: sign it, hang it up, review it
Download the version for your child’s age band and read it with them before signing, clause by clause, changing whatever does not fit your home; each one carries a line with the reason so the decision is made with judgment and not out of habit. It is signed the day the phone is handed over, not when the first problem appears, because after that any limit reads as punishment. Hang it where the phone charges at night. And set a concrete review date, the birthday or the start of the school year, on which your child gains something: if rules only get added, the agreement turns into a list of bans and stops working.
What to do when a rule is broken
The consequence should be announced in advance, be proportionate and have an end date: the phone stays put away until tomorrow, not “until further notice”. Taking the phone away indefinitely over anything at all disables the most valuable rule in the contract, telling without fear: if your child works out that telling you will cost them the phone, they do not tell, and you lose exactly what you need to know. Breaking a rule does not erase the agreement either. And when the reason for a rule disappears, take it off the sheet: a rule nobody enforces any more erodes the ones that remain.
Frequently asked questions
At what age do you sign the phone contract?
The day the first phone is handed over, whatever the age, and if they already have one, as soon as possible. The three versions run from 8 to 15; by 16 or 17 almost no rules should be left, because they would no longer be needed. If you are unsure whether your child is ready, the guide on what age to give a first phone has a ten-question maturity test.
It is not signed under pressure: a contract signed grudgingly is worth the same as none. Ask which clause they do not accept and why; it is almost always just one. Negotiating it, shortening a time, changing a phone-free zone, costs less than imposing it and teaches them the agreement is real. What is not negotiable are the four core rules: where the phone sleeps, no intimate photos, telling is not punished, and the phone is an agreement that can be paused.
Can I change the clauses?
Yes, and you should. Each one carries a line explaining why it is there, precisely so you can change it with judgment. What you should not do is add rules without removing any: at every review your child has to gain something.
Do I need a parental-control app to make it work?
No. The contract works with conversation alone and with the child account that Google Family Link creates at no cost. If you decide to use a supervision app, whether Family Link or CatWatchful, the supervision clause obliges you to tell your child and explain what it shows: supervision discovered by accident destroys in a day the trust that took months to build.
Does the same contract work for a tablet or a games console?
The structure does: commitments on both sides, screen-free zones, what to do if something uncomfortable appears, and a review date. Swap the clause about where it charges at night for where it is kept, and the social media clause for who they play online with.
This template is general information for families, prepared by the CatWatchful team from the public recommendations of the American Academy of Pediatrics, Common Sense Media and UNICEF. It is not legal, medical or psychological advice, and it does not replace each family’s judgment or a professional’s when one is needed. The age bands organise the conversation: every child gets to each thing at their own pace.
CatWatchful is a parental control tool to monitor your own underage children or devices with consent. Read our responsible-use commitment.